Power, the ability to act or do something effectively, comes in a number of different forms.
For example, to empower is to give power to, like empowering a friend to get a new job through encouragement and practical support.
On the other hand, to disempower, means to take power away, like undermining our friend’s ability to get that new job, by demanding they call us when we know they need to sit down and prepare for that job interview.
Trauma is disempowering. It’s something that happens to us that takes our power away, our ability to act effectively, because it happens without our consent. It’s a violation. An emotional or physical or spiritual boundary has been crossed. We know when it happens because the body signals us it has through the pain and hurt we feel.
On the other hand, to disempower, means to take power away, like undermining our friend’s ability to get that new job, by demanding they call us when we know they need to sit down and prepare for that job interview.
Trauma is disempowering. It’s something that happens to us that takes our power away, our ability to act effectively, because it happens without our consent. It’s a violation. An emotional or physical or spiritual boundary has been crossed. We know when it happens because the body signals us it has . We can experience repeated violations as we walk through life. Layers and layers of unattended hurt and pain accumulate in our body. It further impairs us from taking effective action in our lives. We become disempowered as a result.
How do we get our power back when we’ve been traumatized? We can:
*Tell our story I. Speak it. Resist the temptation to keep it to our self. When we do, it begins to loosen its power to take up space in our mind, heart and body.
*Tell our story II. Share it with a trusted friend or relative. Or share it with a therapist who knows trauma. Someone who has the training and experience to create a secure environment for a transformational journey into the wounded body.
More and more research is reflecting the central role the body plays in letting go of trapped energies from a traumatic event(s). If you’re thinking about talking with a therapist, consider body-centered approaches to healing trauma like Focusing or therapeutic Yoga. For more information about these proven modalities, get in touch here.
*Be compassionate. Have patience with our self. Let go of self-judgement. How do you do these things? Slow down. Be present to experience without judgment. Just notice what’s arising in the moment.Be self-accepting.
*Self-protect I. Learn to be our own best friend by being kind and compassionate to our self and listening to our needs, wants, desires, dreams.
*Self-protect II. Formulate clear, firm boundaries in relation to people and places. Exercise them until they’re ready to be relaxed, that is when you feel absolute safety in their company.
*Self-protect III. Resist the temptation to take responsibility for actions that don’t belong to us, that aren’t ours. Embrace the ones that do. This too is empowering.
*Forgive. Only when we feel ready, to forgive our self for what happened to us.
*Transform. Re-create our life in a way that mirrors our deeply held values, treasured goals and heart felt aspirations. Live that life. Be empowered.
*Renew. Invite into our personal world only those who are capable of seeing us as we are and respecting what they see. The others can remain in the outer most orbit of our social circle, or in a completely different universe entirely. 🙂
These are but a few of the ways we can take back our power. They’re by no means all of them. But they’re important pointers in the direction of self-empowerment.
We can’t always prevent a traumatic event from happening, but we all have the ability to transform its debilitating effects to our body and our life. Through high quality therapy, careful reflection and thoughtful action we can take the necessary action to prevent it from ever happening to us again.
Once we’ve taken back our power, there’s only one way left to travel, and that is onward. Onward and into the joys and complexities of life. But this time, it’ll be on our own terms.
